Once upon a time
meaning came
from brain coils exposed
my solutions to pain
seemed valuable.

We’re from the same place
different charge
New York City sprawls
and this is not the part
with memorized answers
these are not the halls
of my test-in school
no Park Slope streets
neat with jogging strollers

Yet, no war rages
here or there.

To speak your names means less than bells’
sound and reverberation side alike.

Here trouble is born
with normalcy             the street explodes
when a manhole fire erupts
power goes for days
people panic calmly

I do not know how to write
what is not mine to name
not my black is beautiful
not enough penance around,
no direct eye contact, no looking down,
no useful solutions as if I knew
sustenance, humility, acceptance

Your names repeat in my fitful sleep
I do not dream about my parents’ divorce anymore
I dream in silence             of fainting
and you carrying on

Reporters don’t meet deadlines
writing about dreams.
If I give you my brain
will that make my voice worthwhile?